Did I Say That?

My blogging friend, Kelly Wolf, has a regular feature called Filter Free Fridays where she shares silly things that she and her family said during the week. I realize some of you may have total control over the words that leave your lips, but Kelly is not one of you. Neither am I.

A couple of weeks ago, Kelly shared a funny story about her mother and asked if we had stories to share. I did, and told her I would share it here.

Several years ago, during the summer of one of my first years partaking of the Coast Guard Experience with Live-In Handyman, we were stationed at Cape May, New Jersey. It was August 4 - Coast Guard Day. I'm pretty sure this August 4 fell on a Saturday.

Coast Guard Day is celebrated by Coasties every year - it's the date Secretary of the Treasury Alexander Hamilton founded the Coast Guard, then called the Revenue Service, way back in 1790.

So don't get in trouble out on the water on August 4. Just kidding! Everyone works that day, unless it's the weekend, and usually things close down early before the party begins and the duty section takes over. Semper Paratus.

On Coast Guard Day that year, the base celebrated with a party on the Coast Guard Beach, which was over in Wildwood. The Coast Guard Beach had their own rules, which was wonderful because at the entrances of the Wildwood beaches were huge black signs with a big NO at the top followed by two columns of things you couldn't do on the beach.

We all brought coolers, and the base cooks grilled dogs and burgers. So now you have a good feel for the setting.

Live-In Handyman and I are walking from the car to the beach, and on the trail we meet a man with a passel of kids in tow. We're all in beach attire, complete with hats and sunglasses, and slathered with sunblock. The kids are sandy. The man and Handyman talk, I say hi, and then we all move on.

I'm not paying much attention. I remember thinking I bet he's a runner, because he's got that lean, lightly-muscled look. Or he plays tennis. And I wondered where his wife was. Or if he had a wife, and if all those kids were his. (See, the mind of a writer building a story even though I didn't recognize it then.)

After we're settled, Handyman tells me the guy is his boss's boss. Or maybe even a rung or more higher on the chain of command, I really don't remember. Our friends joined us, and we proceeded to have a fun CG Day.

A year or two later, we're stationed in New York, on Governor's Island. It's a chilly fall night, and we decide to go to the base movie. It's nearby and we walk. We're wearing jackets, scarves, gloves, hats. So is everyone else. We're waiting to buy tickets and Handyman is talking to another couple in line. Did I tell you Handyman LOVES to talk?

Then he says to me, "Carol, you remember Captain XYZ."

I don't remember if I shrugged, said no, or gave him The Look. But he gets that I don't have a clue who the guy is.

So to be helpful, Handyman says, "You met him on Coast Guard Day when we were in Cape May."

Without thinking, the words out of my mouth are: "Oh. I didn't recognize you with your clothes on."

Which earned me a scathing look from Mrs. Captain. And her not acknowledging my presence anytime we met thereafter. Not even while riding the ferry to or from Manhattan.

Some people just don't have even one tiny trace of a sense of humor.

Bless their hearts.

How about you?

I know you have a sense of humor.

Are you a member of the Did I Say That Club?


That is hilarious! That woman had no sense of humor.
I've usually careful what I say, so haven't needed membership to the club yet.
Linda G. said…
ROF,L! Oh, I love that story!
L. Diane Wolfe said…
LOL - oh yes, that's like something I would say. I'm pretty blunt, too. Not always a good combo.
Anonymous said…
Too funny, Carol. And, yes, I've had too many of those moments. :)
Anonymous said…
This was hilarious Carol, I too have had many a moment like that.

Southpaw said…
That's hilarious! Poor woman must be terribly insecure.
Bish Denham said…
Too funny! And kind of sad that his wife couldn't laugh.
Clarissa Draper said…
That is so funny! I hope the wife laughed about it later because it's classic.
Laura Eno said…
That's hilarious! Talk about no sense of humor. I would have been cracking up.
Ciara said…
I have to have a sense of humor because if I didn't laugh at all the blonde things I do I'd go insane. I can't believe you were expected to remember them after all that time, and only met during a brief passing on a beach. The lady should have laughed.
Karen Walker said…
That is just so so funny, Carol. I can't remember a funny time like that off the top of my head.
Em-Musing said…
I would have loved to have been a fly on the wall when her she confronted her husband. She obviously didn't understand the story. Hilarious!
Ha! Perfect!

Yes, I'm a member of your club. :)
Teresa Coltrin said…
This IS funny. Sometimes I think my life is a comedy.
Julie Luek said…
That's great. Did you have some 'splainin' to do? Yes, I have had many moments like that unfortunately. It's why I like writing. I have a backspace key on my computer. Have yet to figure out how to install one of those suckers on my mouth.
Carol Kilgore said…
Alex - You don't know what you're missing :)

Linda G - Things like this happen to me way too often.

Diane - LOL! I can relate.

Linda J - They come around like clockwork around here :)

Yvonne - After a while, we just deal with it.
VR Barkowski said…
That is too funny! Although I feel a bit sorry for Mr. Captain. Can you imagine living with someone who has no sense of humor?

I am not only a member of the Did I Say That Club? I am an entire chapter on my own.
nutschell said…
i tend to stay away from people who have no sense of humor. :D

Carol Kilgore said…
Southpaw - Or perhaps she'd had a real problem with Mr. Captain in that regard previously. You never know.

Bish - I agree.

Clarissa - I hope she did, too.

Laura - So would I!

Ciara - Not so much expected. I have a horrible memory for names, but an extremely good one for faces. So Live-In Handyman thought I would recognize his face. Then he decided to give me a clue so I could his face together with who he was. Well, I did that all right :)
Carol Kilgore said…
That should read '...so I could PUT his face...'. Fingers can't keep up with my thoughts today.
CATachresis said…
Hahaha! Good one Carol!! I think I have said too many embarrassing things … in fact I believe I have expunged them from my memory!! ;)
Carol Kilgore said…
Karen - Hang around me. One thing or another happens all the time.

Em-Musing - Me, too :)

Elizabeth - Welcome!

Teresa - I think the same about mine :)

Julie - LOL! I'd love a backspace key for my mouth :)
Melissa said…
Gibbs-slap her if she can't take a joke. That's hilarious!!! xD
Jo-Anne Meadows said…
I was wondering where this story was going and glad I kept reading because that was pricelss........lol
Carol Kilgore said…
VR - That is almost beyond my imagination. Love that you're your own chapter :)

Nutschell - I try.

CATachresis - I say something new almost every day.

Melissa - Hahaha! She would probably have had me arrested for assault.

Jo-Anne - Daily military life is such a foreign world for those not involved, it took me a while to set the stage. I'm glad you kept reading, too.
Linda Kage said…
Oh, I'm a full fledged member of the club, but that one was a good one. I'm still laughing out loud. Thanks for sharing.
L.G. Smith said…
I think I'm more a member of the foot-in-mouth club. :))

Carol Kilgore said…
Linda K - Happy to give you a good laugh :)

Luanne - LOL! I think I belong to that one, too :)
Bonnee Crawford said…
Oh DEAR that was not the best thing to say in front of his wife... hahaha! Yeah, I've had stupid things come out of my mouth that have sounded completely wrong... I think we're all guilty! Thanks for sharing! :D
Shelley Munro said…
I would have laughed. Heck, I'm laughing now. :)
Kittie Howard said…
Great story! I roared! Imagining the look on Mrs. Captain's face made the tears fall. And, yep, I've stepped in it a few times myself. (Hub was in the USMC. I sometimes think it would be fun if spouses contributed a story and the profits went to a worthy charity.)
Morgan said…
Totally laughing!!! :D
Carol Kilgore said…
Bonnee - I live in a tact-free zone. In my head one moment, out my mouth the next. Comes in handy for brainstorming, but that's about it :)

Shelley - I would've laughed, too!

Kittie - That's an awesome idea! Do you know an active/former military spouse with some free time who would be interested in acting as producer for such an anthology?

Morgan - It's still funny to me, even after all the time that's passed.
What a funny story! Poor Mrs. Captain didn't even know what she was missing!

Haha! Hilarious! I bet you have too much fun these way!

Carol Kilgore said…
Julie - I have a feeling Mrs. Captain missed out on a lot of fun.

Nas - Usually! Sometimes it turns around and bites me in the backside, though.
Raquel Somatra said…
Oh my goodness, Carol. This is hilarious! I can't imagine not having a sense of humor about that!

My own moments of regrettable dialogue are never that funny.
Carol Kilgore said…
Raquel - Not all of mine are either.
Cherie Reich said…
LOL! Oops! Probably not the right thing to say, although it's not as bad as it sounds. :)
Helena said…
I love your comment! No wonder Mrs. Captain was mad at you. Me, I'm more prone to dumb (not funny) remarks and I can only hope they're not hurtful.
Anonymous said…
Oh my gosh! First- thanks for the mention! You didn't have to... :D
Second- I feel your pain. Or pride. Sometimes it's a combination of the two, isn't it? You know it's a great story, but boy, real life just doesn't always appreciate the potential of a moment like that!
I hope you see the humor in all your filter-free moments. Life is too short!
Carol Kilgore said…
Cherie - Live-In Handyman was cracking up, so I wasn't too concerned.

Helena - People who know me know how I am, so they take it in stride as part of the package.

Kelly - It's one of those things that you know you'll laugh about later :)
ROFL!!! Though if someone had said that about my husband, I wouldn't have been too impressed either.
Carol Kilgore said…
Stina - I think I would have still laughed. Followed by 'what?'
DWei said…
Oooo... Someone's a bit overprotective. :P
LR said…
Heehee. I love those awkward moments. :) They are all too human.

Anonymous said…
Ha ha. I'm sure she was thinking all sorts of things.
Carol Kilgore said…
DWei - I'll say!

LR - We may try to appear perfect, but the cracks show up at one time or another :)

Medeia - I'm sure! She knew her husband better than I did :)
Oh, that is a GREAT story, and exactly the sort of thing I would say.

One funny story from here would be about the time I had to go to the doctor, and since the medical center is right across the street from a big international market, I decided to stop there afterwards to see if they had any live blue crabs that I could take home to steam.

Got the picture?

Okay, so my husband and I are both amateur radio operators, and one thing you may not know about ham radio is that somebody is ALWAYS monitoring local repeaters. Sometimes, a LOT of somebodies. So, I stop at the market, and upon finding the coveted crustaceans, I gave my hubby a call on the radio when I got back out to the car. When he came back to me, I told him, "I'm done at the doctor's, and I've got crabs!!!"

Um, yeah, a LOT of people teased me about that for a very long time. So now when I call him, I'm a little more specific about exactly what kind of crabs I'm bringing home.
Carol Kilgore said…
Susan - I'm still laughing! And yeah, I could have said your words, too :)
Missed Periods said…
Last week at yoga, a dollar slipped out of my teacher's pocket, and out of my mouth popped "saving that for the strip club later." He looked at me like I was crazy. I guess yoga and strip clubs don't mesh.
Shirley Wells said…
Hahaha. Love this story. Thanks for the laugh!
Carol Kilgore said…
My pleasure, Shirley :)