Friday's Top Ten

We've had a lot of family time lately. So ... pretend you're watching a first or second grader tell you a funny, screwing up her face so she gets it just right, and giggling before she ever reaches the punch line.

Top ten jokes from kids:

10. Why did the cow cross the road?
Because the chicken retired

  9. Why did the tomato turn red?
Because it saw the salad dressing

  8. Why was 6 afraid of 7?
Because 7 8 9

  7. What fish costs the most?
A goldfish

  6. What goes up and down but doesn't move?

  5. Did you hear the joke about the roof?
Never mind! It's over your head.

  4. What flies around the kindergarten room at night?
The alpha BAT

  3. What time is it when a whale runs into your boat?
Time to get a new boat

  2. What's black, white, green, and bumpy?
A pickle wearing a tuxedo

And the #1 joke from kids:

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Witches who?
Witches the way to go home?

Did you giggle?

Linda Kage is playing a fun game on her blog starting today to match a few authors to something wacky or strange they have done or accomplished in their lives. Pop over and see if you can figure out what I did :)


The tomato one was good! No giggling though. Ninjas don't giggle.
I LOVE the tomato one. That made my day. :D
Karen Walker said…
These are definitely cute!
I will use these with the grandbabes. They expect me to tell jokes poorly.

Laura Eno said…
I still remember the first attempts at humor in my children...the jokes with NO punchline...
These definitely brought a smile to my face. :)
Linda G. said…
LOL! There all great, but I especially love the roof joke.
Mason Canyon said…
Thanks for the smiles this morning. These are so cute. Have a great weekend.

Thoughts in Progress
L.G.Smith said…
I did giggle. I may use a few of these later today. :P
Linda Kage said…
HA! I love them all! But what really flies around the Kindergarten room at night isn't a bat. I watch the Wonder Pets with my 2-year-old, so I've got to say it's a turtle, duck, and hamster that sing annoying, catchy songs!!

And I feel so smug, I KNOW which fact goes with you! He, he.
Summer Ross said…
My youngest would love these- the tomato one was really cute. Thanks for sharing.
michelle said…
Thanks for sharing these!!
The knock-knock one is cool... I don't think the little ones will get the full meaning of number 5. LOL.
Carol Kilgore said…
Alex - Mighty Ninjas are way too cool to giggle. Giggle :)

Stina - The tomato wins again :)

Karen - Kid Cute :)

Teresa - Great!

Laura - OMG! LOTS with no punchline and lots of giggles!
Julie said…
Very cute! Heading over to Linda's now, sounds like fun.
Johanna Garth said…
Adorable! And I'm actually quite familiar with most of them ;)
Suzanne Furness said…
I love kids jokes. They are kinda my level! Thanks for a giggle today.
Melissa said…
LOL - Yup. I giggled. I'm a mom of middlegraders, so... I have one to add.

Why did Tigger stick his head in the toilet?

Because he was looking for Pooh.

hahaha :D

Thanks for visiting my blog. :)
Carol Kilgore said…
Linda G - I like the layers on that one.

Mason - My pleasure :)

L.G. - Cool :)

Linda K - Ahh, nothing like the truth :)

Summer - The tomato is a hot seller today!

LD Masterson said…
Yup, I giggled. I bet Ninja Alex did, too, but won't admit it.
J.L. Campbell said…
Have a good weekend. Like the alphabat @ #4.
BECKY said…
My fav is the roof joke! :)
Heading over to the other blog!
L. Diane Wolfe said…
Time to get a new boat - LOL!
CATachresis said…
Goodness! There were a few I'd never heard before!! lol I just love kids telling jokes. I know exactly what you mean :)
JoLynne Lyon said…
Why did the orange stop? Because he ran outta juice!

That one kept my kids giggling forever on a long car ride. At least they weren't fighting in the backseat.
Carol Kilgore said…
Michelle - 8-9 year olds got the roof being literally above their heads. But didn't get the don't understand meaning. At least not the crop of 8-9 year olds I saw.

Julie - Cool :)

Johanna - I'm not surprised!

Suzanne - Always happy to provide a giggle :)

Melissa - LOL! That one's funnier than mine :)

Jemi Fraser said…
I've never heard the stairs one before! These are awesome - thanks for the smiles :)
M Pax said…
They all made me giggle, but i especially liked the alpha bat.
Carol Kilgore said…
Jemi - You're welcome :)

M Pax - Appropriate for Halloween!
Talli Roland said…
I have to admit, I giggled! Love the tomato one.
A great Friday top ten most humerous.

LR said…
Aw, I like No. 8. Heehee!
Carol Kilgore said…
Golden Eagle - For your giggling pleasure :)

Talli - The tomato and the alpha bat are running a close race.

Yvonne - Happy to make you smile :)

LR - I guess 7 was hungry, LOL!
Medeia Sharif said…
These are so cute. I love children's humor.

I'm stumped over the list at Linda's blog.
Angela Brown said…
Oh my goodness. I can just imagine my Chipmmunk saying some of these jokes. I better share them with her lol!!!
Raquel.Somatra said…
Very cute-- read a few of these to my husband. I giggled, he rolled his eyes :))
Carol Kilgore said…
Medeia - Something at Linda's applies to me. Tune in Monday!

Angela - Hope you got a giggle :)

Raquel - LOL! Husbands are like that :)
These jokes are so cute, and they're just the right length for me to remember! Julie
Old Kitty said…
I knew I shouldn't have worn my corset today...!


Take care
Carol Kilgore said…
Julie - Cool :)

Old Kitty - LOL! You're so funny.
Yep, the number one about witches was funny :)
Carol Kilgore said…
I want to be a witch like Samantha in Bewitched :)
Jackee said…
So cute! Those sound about like the jokes my kids tell. :o) Their little belly laughs are funnier than their jokes. lol

Have a great day, Carol!
Nas said…
Lol! 7 ate 9?

And Goldfish is expensive!

Well if you're there to tell the tale if a whale runs into your boat then maybe you'll get a new boat!

Pam Asberry said…
Love this post, Carol! There is a scene in my WIP in which my heroine's little boy meets the hero for the first time. It is Halloween; the kid is dressed in a pirate costume and the hero tells him a pirate joke. Argh! I love kids' jokes!
Carol Kilgore said…
Jackee - So true about their laughs!

Nas - I liked the goldfish one :)

Pam - Aww, that's sweet :)
Madeleine Sara said…
Oh groan, she says with a cheesy grin on her face LOL!
Carol Kilgore said…
Madeleine - From the mouths of babes :)