Friday's Top Ten

The top ten things about umbrellas:

10. You never have one when you need it

  9. Ones that keep you snug and dry are huge and clunky

  8. Ones that might keep one drop of rain off you if there isn't a hint of a breeze fold nicely and fit in your bag

  7. If you hold them to keep the rain off your face, your face hits a lamp post

  6. They need a viewing panel with a wiper

  5. In a wind, they throw out quills like a porcupine

  4. In a sea of drying black umbrellas, does it matter which is yours

  3. Do you really want to be the one with the hot pink and tangerine umbrella

  2. Do real umbrellas only live in tall tropical drinks

And the #1 think about umbrellas:

  1. They're absolutely necessary if you want to be Mary Poppins