Friday's Top Ten

In order to give the opposing party equal air time . . .

The top ten duties of The Cat:

10. Never admit to a lapse in judgment

 9. Torment the oppressors

 8. Accept no prisoners

 7. Guard the dog

 6. Maintain decorum

 5. Hide all dog toys

 4. Demand running water

 3. Nap on the placemats

 2. Supervise food distribution

And the #1 duty of The Cat:

 1. Eat Cheezeburgerz


Helen Ginger said…
My goal is to be reincarnated as a cat, preferably one of yours, so I'd have access to cheezeburgerz and placemats.

Straight From Hel
Angela said…
Dear Carol,
this made me smile (yes, yes...)and go back to your former posts - had to see what you said about dogs (yes, yes...) and about blogging, and not ever finding enough time to read all my favorite blogs...yes again! You know how it is, and I also know this storing books for later reading! The two or three Lisa Scottoline books I read were good, I thought (the sister in the monastery...). Right now I am reading Farm Girl by Karen Gowen! (nice reading) When will you send me one of yours?
Aubrie said…
I am so allegric to cats:

#11. Rub your fur all over Aubrie until she sniffles!

I love your lists!
Joanne said…
Too cute! Just this morning our cat demanded running water too. She sat and watched it, occasionally putting her paw in it :)
Anonymous said…
Haha! Gotta love those kittiez. ;) Since we don't use placemats our cats lay on any open book/newspaper they fan find despite the readers' intent of doing actual reading. Fun post, Carol! Always look forward to your top ten! :)
My stomach-with-legs-Garfield cat says to add one to your great list:
Get the humans to feed you as much as possible as early and late as possible. Develop that big belly!
Yes, yes yes! Also:

Stare accusingly at everyone as they enter your room.

Remember your ancestors were worshiped as gods. Those were the good old days.
Marisa Birns said…
Very true! :)

One more:

Will let you pet it only if you've made an appointment beforehand.
Carol Kilgore said…
Helen - Cats are unique.

Angela - I'm happy to make you smile.

Aubrie - I'm allergic to cats, too. I still love them, but must do so from afar.

Joanne - Our cat always used her left paw only.

Kimberly - They especially enjoy the open book when it's in your lap.

Conda - Stomach with legs - I love it!

Elspeth - Oh yes - The Look. How could I have forgotten that? And Ignoring Humans.

Marisa - I laughed out loud - too funny!
I love this! My cats are looking at me now like, "Yeah, you BETTER like it!" :)

Thanks for the smile...

Mystery Writing is Murder
KarenG said…
These all sound just like a cat. Did your cat write this?
Carol Kilgore said…
Elizabeth - LOL. You're welcome.

Karen - Sigh. No cats here. Allergies. We did cater to a Siamese for about 17 years, though.
In a shocking admission, I must tell you that these attributes are not far removed from behaviors I exhibit every day.

Best Wishes, Galen.
VR Barkowski said…
LOL - Absolutely

Corollary to list: selective application of fur - dark hairs to light clothing, light hairs to dark clothing. Best executed while clothes are still in laundry basket and warm from the dryer.
Carol Kilgore said…
Galen Kindley - Cat in Training :)

VR - Oh yes. Everyone has such good comments. I love it!
Mason Canyon said…
Love your list. One of my cats (see photo) usually demands to be feed at 5 a.m. She has food in her bowl, but she wants fresh.
Carol Kilgore said…
Of course she does. You're only the human. She IS The Cat.
Laura Eno said…
Oh, yes. These are CAT. :) One more would be whenever startled, immediately start grooming as if to say "Nothing bothers me".
Carol Kilgore said…
Right. Nonchalant. To the max.