Friday's Top Ten

Before the Top Ten, a little unfinished business. All the "creative writing" about me in Wednesday's post:
1. My mother taught me to play piano. She didn't teach me.
2. My father worked for the city. Oil, baby.
3. My childhood dream was to be a veterinarian. Not exactly.
4. My first job was at a flower shop. With MY black thumb?
5. My college major was art history. Uh, no.
6. My seven children all live at home. Ack! I'd be bonkers. C'
7. My live-in handyman was my sixth grade boyfriend. The winner!

- - - - - - - - - -

Now ... the Top Ten things NEVER to give as a Valentine's gift:

10. New Garbage Can

  9. Weed Eater

  8. Power Tool

  7. Vacuum

  6. New Mop

  5. Gift Card for Groceries

  4. Kitchen Appliance

  3. Gym Membership

  2. Self-Improvement Book

And the #1 thing NEVER to give as a Valentine Gift:

  1. ANY Spanx Garment


You are a wise, wise woman, Carol. I'm humbled by your brilliance.
arlee bird said…
so far I'm safe---didn't get any of those.
Joanne said…
Wait a minute, aren't some of those gifts appropriate to give to husbands? I mean, a power tool, weed eater, vaccuum?

Happy Valentine's Weekend ;)
Carol Kilgore said…
Elspeth - Right ;)
Where did you say for me to send the check?

Arlee - Smart man!

Joanne - Duh. I should've said for a man to give a woman. Chalk it up to not enough caffeine in my system when I wrote it. Good catch!
I don't get it Carol, I've given each of my former ten wives at least one of these exact things for the festival of Cupidity. Seemed to work out okay.

Best Wishes Galen.
Imagineering Fiction Blog
Carol Kilgore said…
Wow, Galen. I don't know what to say. I guess you lucked out. Love CUPIDITY!
Mason Canyon said…
Love your list. Those need to be made into a poster to give every man. :) I would include exercise equipment with that unless of course the lady asked for it.
Carol Kilgore said…
I'm right with you on the exercise equipment.
Angela said…
Carol, I like your wit so much. Can`t you write the script for my movie?!!!!! I`ll tell you all the details, and you put them in scenes? How`s that for a job offer?
Laura Eno said…
LOVE your list. Should be poster size and sold to every man.
Carol Kilgore said…
Angela - You do a fantastic job with your own story.

Laura - Great idea.
Marisa Birns said…
A shovel. A big shovel. That would be a perfect gift for all who live in D.C.

Handyman, eh? Perfect kind of guy to have around!

Does he have an extra shovel?
Carol Kilgore said…
He's got a great shovel . . . and he knows how to use it :)
Southpaw said…
Oh those gifts would sure get people into hot water!
Helen Ginger said…
Amen to your Top 10 Do Not Give As Valentine's Gifts!

Straight From Hel
Carol Kilgore said…
I'm so thankful I didn't receive any of them. He really does like walking around :)
Kathy McIntosh said…
Good advice. Early in our marriage, I got a circular saw for my birthday.
But yes, Spanx would be a BIG no-no!
Carol Kilgore said…
I'm laughing. However, I've received car care products. Do I EVER hand wash a car? No.