Friday, January 25, 2013

Friday's Top Ten

Last week, my sister sent me an email thingie with a lot of funny questions on it. I stole ten for this week's Top Ten.

The top ten questions we can't answer:

10. Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard? And body hair?

  9. Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?

  8. Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are almost dead?

  7. How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?

  6. Why did Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

  5. Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?

  4. Why do banks charge a fee on 'insufficient funds' when they already know there is not enough money?

  3. Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?

  2. Whose idea was it to put an 'S' in the word 'lisp'?

And the #1 question we can't answer:

  1. Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but have to check when you say the paint is still wet?


46 comments:

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

Those are hilarious! Why are mattresses always on sale? It's like when is there NOT a sale a Penney's?

Yvonne's World of Poetry said...

Great top ten Carol, we here keep getting commercials on settee and other furniture, always claiming it's the end of the sale but still go on advertising for months on end.

Yvonne.

Linda G. said...

Ha! Good questions. I must admit that I've been guilty of #8 on occasion.

Manzanita said...

Good thinking way to start the day. Kamakazi one made me laugh. M

My oldest son and I are rather morbid when we get together. We had a shirt-tail relative who drove to a beach-side Holiday Inn, went up and jumped from the top floor. We said, how do you decide what to wear to a "jumping."

Julie Luek said...

These are some of life's deeper questions. I need more coffee before I contemplate them too much. :) Fun post for my Friday morning-- thanks.

Linda Kage said...

Good ones! I've just been wondering why you can have two bookends on your shelf but no book beginning...

Slamdunk said...

Don't get me started on banks and sensibility. I would have to use too many not-nice words in that conversation. Blah.

Em-Musing said...

Just the right giggles to get my Friday off to a good start.

VR Barkowski said...

Love these! Thanks for the smile. Now I must go ponder...

Have a great weekend!

creativewritingintheblackberrypatch said...

those are great! And on #3 why do we always hit our head when doing this? I think I like #10 the best.

mybabyjohn/Delores said...

there are no answers to any of these...only more questions lol.

L.G. Smith said...

Great, pondering questions...to which I have no answers. So funny, but I really do press harder on the remote buttons to make them work when they don't.

Laura Eno said...

Mistress Snark might have to lift some of these. :)

Carol Kilgore said...

Alex - So true!

Yvonne - I know. We see them so often, we know the words by heart.

Linda G - So have I.

Manzanita - Laughing :) My sister and I share that type of humor, too.

Julie L - Right...very deep, LOL!

S.P. Bowers said...

So fun. I think I liked 2 best, but then I used to work as an assistant for a speech therapist.

M Pax said...

A lot of those made me laugh, because of their truth. Especially the bug one. How do they get in there? :) Have a wonderful weekend, Carol.

Clarissa Draper said...

These are hilarious! I have a dead mosquito where my car's speedometer panel is. It's behind glass. How did it get in there?

Lynda R Young said...

I can answer #5. Mattresses aren't on sale when you want to buy one...

Carol Kilgore said...

Linda K - Oh! PERFECT!

Slamdunk - Bankers have their own drum corps.

Em-Musing - Cool :)

VR - Ponder away!

Janet - If I knew, I could answer these questions :)

CATachresis said...

Some of life's imponderables !! We will never know lol

Carol Kilgore said...

Delores - Oh, no!

Luanne - So do I :)

Laura - They are Snark appropriate :)

S.P. - After I read that quethtion, I thpoke with a lithp for an hour.

Mary - I have no idea.

LD Masterson said...

Good ones. But I have a real answer to number 8 - when the batteries are getting weak, the contacts under the buttons become less sensitive so pressing harder can actually work.

Now why we feel the need to test "wet paint" is a universal mystery.

Wendy aka Quillfeather said...

I simply love your powers of observation!

Helena said...

I love the lisp question. And even as a child I wondered why Tarzan didn't have a beard, let alone chest hair.

Carol Kilgore said...

Clarissa - That's too weird! Truly no idea.

Lynda - Ah-ha! Murphy's Law :)

CATachresis - Good for pondering while stretching out in a patch of sunshine.

LD - Ah, a battery genius :) Maybe the paint thing is because it's in the here and now.

Wendy - Well, I "observed" these in a funny email thingie. I wish I could take credit for the originality.

L. Diane Wolfe said...

You know, that's why I don't try to catch falling items. Just let them go. You won't catch it if you try and you'll just look foolish in the attempt.

Karen Jones Gowen said...

Omigosh these cracked me up! Thanks for the chuckle today, Carol!

Carol Kilgore said...

Helena - I think it's my favorite :)

Diane - For me it's less about looking foolish and more about the mess.

Karen - My pleasure!

Missed Periods said...

I never thought about it before, but now it's clear: Tarzan waxes.

Donna Volkenannt said...

How funny! Thanks for putting a smile on my face today.

Carol Kilgore said...

Jennie - LOL! Exactly :) But where does he get the wax? Or know how?

Donna - You're welcome!

BECKY said...

Very funny Top Ten, Carol! I particularly love #4. Banks are just so stupid...and they also never want to lend money to people who really need it! :)
Have a great weekend!

Brinda said...

Funny stuff and I have no answers....Have a great weekend, Carol.

DEZMOND said...

I've always wondered what do men of wilderness use for shaving....

Carol Kilgore said...

Becky - So true.

Brinda - Me either!

Dezmond - Exactly.

Melissa said...

hahaha
Great list. :D

Carol Kilgore said...

Thanks, Melissa.

Jo-Anne Meadows said...

A great list and so bloody right number 8 is something I have done and yeah number 3 too......lol

Empty Nest Insider said...

Maybe Cheetah was in charge of Tarzan's manscaping. Great Top Ten Carol! Julie

LR said...

Laughing at comment above! :)

Never thought about Tarzan's beard/chest before, but you're absolutely right. Let us know if you find out the answer. ;)

Carol Kilgore said...

Jo-Anne - Same for me :)

Julie F - LOL! Could be.

LR - Perhaps there was a secret laser stash in that jungle :)

Nas said...

...and yes, why do banks charge fee on insufficiant funds anyway? When there are no funds?

Hilarious top ten, Carol!

Susan Flett Swiderski said...

These are right up there with, "Why do we drive on a parkway and park on a driveway?" and "Why do feet smell and noses run?"

Carol Kilgore said...

Nas - Makes no sense to me, either.

Susan - LOL, those are great!

Raquel.Somatra said...

Love this top ten! For #8-- Because we tend to get irrational when frustrated. That's all I can figure-- was just wondering about #2 the other day! And your number 1 is really unbelievable-- especially considering how people believe anything they see on the internet. This is a strange world we live in. :)

Carol Kilgore said...

Raquel - #2 is my fave. One of my cousins says 'People are strange, aren't we.'